One Week Down, Rest of Life to Go

It has been a week of ups and downs. I've met hundreds of people but only know the names of a couple of dozen or so and even then I more or less only know their names and what they are studying. My ability to cultivate friendship from this type of situation has never really been one that I've had to call upon as is the case with hundreds of fellow fresher's. Never has there been a room full of complete strangers from different parts of Scotland and beyond, where you simply start from scratch. It's nice to have the occasional familiar face but a phrase that I have coined this week is "it's nice to see some unfamiliar faces" - not something that you would usually think makes sense but the logic is there as far as I'm concerned. I guess that the hardest part of this week has been that aspect of things. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not an introvert: shy on occasion yes, but not particularly an introvert. Having said that, I am not a particularly confident person when placed in this type of situation. The best part about this week for me is the fact that I've not really had any other choice than to try and put myself out there a bit because if I hadn't then the next few weeks and months could have been a lot more difficult. Now those unfamiliar faces have slowly started to become familiar which will make the first week of lectures and the next few weeks of staying in halls that bit easier. 

Now I suppose is the time when I should really break the bad news to you all - fresher's week hasn't lived up to what I thought it would be; and it's not just me that feels this way either. I've spoken to countless people that have been having early nights and have avoided alcohol on particular evenings. I suppose if you asked the people in my flats how they felt fresher's week was then the majority would say it was "amazing" or "awesome" or even "the best week of their lives". Don't get me wrong, I've had a fantastic week but I've had my fair share of feeling down and out this week. I suppose that you are probably thinking that I've not made the most of fresher's week and that I should have been out doing more things because I will agree that they way I am describing it makes it sound like I've sat in my room staring at the walls every day. This is not the case because I have been out and about with people doing lots of different and fun things but when it really came down to it, it just wasn't what I expected it to be. I see all of these pictures of people in my position at Edinburgh and other universities and they look like they are having the time of their lives but I guess that a combination of trying to settle (despite being fairly close to home) and meeting all of these new people has made this week more difficult for me than I could have imagined.

I think that it is time I saved myself from a bottomless pit of despair (well not really because believe it or not, I have been a pretty happy person for most of the week) and tell you what my favourite things about this week were. For one the feeling of looking after myself is something that I've looked forward to for a long time. A challenge yes, but nevertheless something that I relish the thought of. As well as that I have enjoyed meeting new people from all parts of the world which is never really something that happens in high school. My favourite part of the week though has to be the prospect of starting my law degree. This week has come and gone now and it is time to do what I really came here for - to study law at one of the best universities in the world. Call me sad but I can't wait for my first lecture and the first time I do work in the library or the first case I'm asked to read. Things like that excite me for whatever reason and I'll be damned if that's going to stop just at the brink of the next chapter in my life (I've said that a lot in recent posts but it's the most apt way to describe it I think).

I'm aware that there is the chance that there could be people reading this that I have only just met this week and who don't really know anything about me. I can assure you that although I sound like a melancholic teenager, I really am a very happy guy who certainly knows how to smile once in a while. I don't need to tell you that in fact because you'll soon come to learn that under my shy and serious exterior is someone completely different.

I usually try to slip in a few jokes in my posts as you all know but I don't really have any that are particularly topical which is a bit crap. Instead I'll end with this: fresher's week was great fun and I will always look back on this week as being a good solid start to university life but the real thing starts next week and that's when I'll get my mojo back - just you wait and see...

You guys rock for reading as per usual so thanks,


Martin

Baked Beans and Beer - My First Few Days as a Student

When I was packing all of my clothes into suitcases last week it was quite possibly the strangest experience of my life. To have all of the things that you wear and use fit into a few bags really plays with your head; and not in a good way either. It really is a surreal thing when you see your DVD collection packed in beside underwear and socks - in fact it kinda sucks. But when everything was ready to go I was psyched because it looked like I was going on holiday (with a box of Cheerios). The funny thing is that I wasn't at all excited before I left or for the few days leading up to the move. In fact my sister was more excited that I was moving out than I was and she doesn't even live at home. So last week was a little crazy but if I thought that the process of moving out of home was weird then I was going to get a hefty punch in the chops when I moved into the other end. I'm not going to lie, I just laughed at that sentence for its innuendo qualities which can only be a good sign because it means that I've not yet lost my terrible sense of humour yet - university will never change that.

So this is the basics of what happened when I got here: you get your keys, you go to your flat, you unload your life into your room and then you realise that there are other people doing a similar thing - it's kinda weird to see these parallel lives crashing together in one big mash. So that's pretty much the way it has been for the last couple of days. Your basic plan of action has to be to ask three questions (What's your name?; where are you from?; what are you studying?). If you get through this part of the conversation unscathed then its a free-for-all thereafter. It's all about trying to find some sort of common ground (the subject of alcohol usually suffices) and then try and build from there if you can. Otherwise you just have to turn to your right and start the whole process again which it seems is everyones game. In fact the three questions are starting to become this sort of dogmatic approach to socialising which I can cope with I think. 

In three days I have been through the wringer emotionally (ok that's maybe a bit of an exaggeration but has been tough). I woke up on the first morning and felt crap then about an hour later I was all enthusiastic again and soon found myself up on top of Arthur's Seat. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy and if the truth be told, I didn't know what it would be like at all. Now I have seen a tiny slice of this new life I am starting to learn a bit more about it which is the only way to adapt. I am enjoying this new chapter in my life so far and as tough as I'm finding this situation, I'm relishing it at the same time. Bring on the rest of the week!!!

Snorkels, Biscuits, Cardboard etc...

I'm not 100% sure what's up with me at the moment. It's more than likely to be a combination of things: the fast approaching move away from home, starting a new part of my life, people leaving etc (basically the stuff that I've been going on about all year in this very blog). As you might have gathered from the title, I am certainly in an odd mood at the moment. I had this thought last night when I couldn't get to sleep: I started to think about the most random things that I could - I guess it was me trying to test my imagination. The reason why this was happening is not something that I can quite put my finger on but I guess that I'm just lacking something in my life just now - transition sucks. Maybe I was just bored although that would usually send me to sleep anyway or maybe there was something else to it. My plan was to think about it today but I never got round to it because of my busy schedule of reading, drinking coffee and watching 'House' (which I have become addicted to over the last week or so). So now I'm going to try and see where it came from and I thought that I might as well write it down while I was at it.

So what is imagination? The handy dictionary I have sitting beside me just now tells me that it is the "ability to make mental images of things that may not exist in real life". That being the case, I guess I wasn't trying to stretch my imaginative muscles off after all. After all the words I was coming up with were very like the ones in the title - not much imagination needed there.  So what was I playing at at 1am, lying in my bed, pulling the most random of words out of thin air? As I said I couldn't have been bored because that would not have explained me not being able to get to sleep; I wasn't wide awake either so that can pretty much rule out it being something constructive.

If the truth is to be told, I will never have the answer to this weird pastime that overtook me last night. If you have any theories then I would love to hear them but I guess I should just put it behind me and stop opening up my mind at night when I should be sleeping. Does this kind of thing make me weird? No, I don't think so but there's often times when I just need to write something down and this was one of those very moments. It resets me and makes me happier again to get something out - it makes room for new stuff.

You guys rule for reading this as always.

Muchos gracias amigos!


Martin

Those Damn Teenagers...

I hear watch the news and listen to the radio every day of my life and it seems that not a day goes past without teenagers getting bad press for something. It could be something as serious as underage drinking in the streets or a less obvious negative report saying that we don't read enough but it seems that we are forever receiving bad press for absolutely everything. It's interesting when you think about it that all of these people that are bemoaning the poor quality of our generation could have one day been teenagers themselves. I guess that it is mainly because we never witnessed it and only get to see the occasional photo of when they were our age and the even less occasional story of what it was like when "I was a boy/girl". It fascinates me further when they use the line "in our day" because this creates the idea that things never change and that teenagers nowadays should be just like they were 50 years ago. Why aren't we allowed to answer back to adults? Does it show a lack of respect or does it prove how smart teenagers are now? Yes there are a fair few of my peers that fall out of the category of smart and choose to answer back to their elders just because they feel like being abrasive that day, but then there are the millions of other young adults that have more to offer when they are allowed freedom to express themselves. I'll of course give the other side of the coin (that being the point of view of adults on certain, less desirable teenagers) a good rub but whether it be heads or tails that you get, our generation is the best yet and I'm going to try my best to prove it.

Let's have a quick look at those troublesome few who are out to cause anarchy wherever they go. I've been working and playing with them for my whole life and now that we're all teenagers together, I can see a split. There are the ones that have a bright future and endless prospects to look forward to and then there are the ones that have nothing - and that is no exaggeration. When I look around me at all of the people my age that I know, I see the majority of them getting ready for university or college, opening countless new doors for themselves all the while. I then catch a brief glimpse of the ones who are miles away on the opposite hand. I know them all because, as I said, I grew up with them all and I know that each and every one of them has the ability to outshine their contemporaries of 10 years ago. They are all gifted in one way or another but for whatever reason, and this is where I can't stick up for them, they have lost their way. And it is for this very reason that they are seen to be troublesome. I don't think I have ever come across a single peer who has not displayed a level of intellect or ability in one field or another. They could be naturally bright, they could be hard workers or they have some kind of practical ability that makes them useful to society. As it happens, that very society that they could help has already begun the process of rejecting them which is when the trouble starts.

Now if there is an adult someone reading this then they will almost agree with me that everyone has ability in one thing or another. The place that they will disagree with me is when I say that there is good in all teenagers. What makes certain individuals to become a nuisance is either rejection from their chosen lifestyle or the people that they socialise with. Take this analogy for example: I like sausages and I'm quite fond of a chocolate and each on its own is a treat, but if you were to mix them together then it would create detrimental effect on the overall taste. Now apply that to the concept of teenage social groups. You will very rarely find a single teenager causing trouble on their own or even in a pairs or trio - they are always in numbers. What I am trying to say is that if you mix the wrong people together then there will be a disastrous outcome (as with my sausage and chocolate example). Every member of the offending group will have their own (often secret) likes and dislikes that they choose not to share with the rest of the group and will also have ability in something that, more often than not, they hide to avoid embarrassment. As a group they might be a menace to society but as individuals, they are as much use to society as the people that the group, as a whole, were terrorising. Some manage to break away from their groups because they see 'the light' but others don't simply because there is nothing else for them to do with their lives.

It is those kids that are apart of 'gangs' or 'youth teams' that give the teenage demographic a bad name when really they are as useful to society as the next teenager. Maybe because I come from a well off background I can say all of this stuff and there will be no repercussions for my life; maybe because I am going to university I can say that everyone has something to offer to society; maybe because I have something to offer and have lots of prospects that I can say that everyone else my age does as well, but let it be known that I have grown up with these people and I know these people more than any adult will ever know them and I know they are good. I know that they have potential. I know that some of them give the rest of us a bad name but I also know that they are equally as able as the person next to them. I know that teenagers smash windows and terrorise old people and I know that some teenagers are just bad people but I know them all and see nothing new in any of them. We are all the same and just need to be given the chance to stand each on our own and show the world what we've got. The world needs our generation simply because we are the best that there has been - you'll see what I mean in 10 years time.

I imagine that you might have your own views on this matter and I would love to listen to them. Now would be a great time for you to click on the 'comment' box below and have your say (anonymously if you choose). Also it would be great to hear from lots of people so if you know of anyone who might be interested in this topic, send them a link or click on the Facebook button below to link this page.

Thanks for reading you beautiful, beautiful people!

Martin