Under My Skin

I used to write in this blog that I liked being solitary and to a certain extent I still do. I don't have to worry about anyone else and I know that my family and good friends aren't going anywhere - I'm lucky in that respect. The last month gone by, however, has lead to me taking all of that for granted for something that I stand to gain nothing out of; something that is making me lose it a little. I sit behind this screen tonight tired and bedraggled after a long, tiring week and I can't lie by saying that I thought on Monday that things were going to be different when I got here - I knew they wouldn't be. I'm frustrated and getting pretty tired of myself over this thing. We all know what I'm talking about as well so I'm just going to dive into this post and hope that the girl in question doesn't like blogs.

If I Only Had a Heart

I would like to open tonight's post with a line from my favourite song just now (Squealing Pigs by Admiral Fellow): "it's that sinking feeling of being alone". And as I write this post on Valentine's night itself I feel a little bit like I'm sinking. Last night's post holds firm with no exceptions but there is a distinct feeling of being left out that seem all the more potent at this time of year. I had a really good day today for whatever reason. I was happier than I usually am, fooling around and laughing more than I would usually on a normal Tuesday and I'm not really sure why. I think I was feeling good after getting last night's post off of my chest because it all had to be said but now I sit here on my own wondering if there is a single drop of passion left in me. I'm hopefully going to find that out in the next 20 minutes or so.

The Commercialised Day of the Love Giving Obligation

After successfully securing my solitude for another year I feel, more than ever, to be qualified to deliver this post to you tonight. For the purposes of the this article you should strive to think of me as a half-eaten Kit-Kat or an odd sock because it will help you put it in some kind of context. This time last year (less one day) I wrote a similar post lambasting the commercialised day of the love giving obligation that is Valentine's day. Here I am again, a year on, still with a bee in my bonnet about it. The only issue is that I'm tired of digging my heels into things all of the time so the master-plan for this week is to give both sides of this story. Tonight's post is going to be all about the heel pressure and then Wednesday's post should ease it off somewhat - it's only fair. The only caveat that I serve to you about this whole thing is that this post promises to be much like a red rose: beautiful to some but prickly to others. Look away now if you think you're in love.

Just a Glance

It has been a rarity recently for me to write on a Wednesday since I started playing 5s after university. Tonight was very close to being no different really because I'm pretty tired and it hurts to sit still for a prolonged period - suffice to say that tonight's post is going to be brief. I have been withering about producing this post for a wee while now because of the repercussions that I might suffer as a result. I'm not worried that I'll annoy anyone but I am slightly concerned about the effect that this might have on me when I publish in about half an hour's time. It will either go well or it will end up in a foot-in-mouth situation so read on to find out what the outcome will be.

Happiness is in the Eye of the Beholder

I've been waiting to use this piece of writing for a while and, to be perfectly honest, I don't know why I have been holding it hostage for so long. The thing is that I don't get sent much in the way of guest writer material and I guess that I've been keeping it 'special' for a while - something in the bank for a the day when writer's block reigns supreme. The thing is that I'm not struggling to write stuff this week but I felt that I would go for a little bit of variety. It means that I now have no more guest writer pieces and so I'm asking for more - people always seem to love them as well. The great thing about the material that I've got for you today is that the person doesn't think they are that good. I think that it's true that some people just can't get to grips with writing but my feeling is that everyone has something to say no matter how 'bad' they think they are. Don't compare yourself to the stuff that I write every week for the very reason that I get quite a lot of practice. Most people have the natural ability, it's just whether they choose to hone that ability as I have. Anyway here's my most recent offering from a guest writer; someone that has more talent that they know:

The Voice in our Heads

Today's entry promises to be something of a short post since I am pretty tired from playing football for a large chunk of the day. It's nice to have good weather (if a little bit unpredictable) for stuff like that - lifts your mood somewhat. Today's post is about the things that go on inside our heads that make us go stir crazy - I'll try and keep this as cheery as possible, I promise! People say that talking to yourself is one of the first signs of madness but we all do it. Does this make us all crazy or is this the norm? I'm not really talking about vocalising with yourself but more the stuff that goes on inside your head. I'm talking to myself inside my head as I type this post and you'll talk inside your head to yourself when you have finished reading - it's perfectly natural. But what of those things that we spend hours thinking about (the opposite sex, exams etc)? Those are the kind of things that can really eat a person up something proper and I think we all need to learn how to deal with it before we can ever call ourselves happy.

A Letter to No One

After what can only be described as a challenging read on Monday, I feel it is time to lift the quality of this weeks blogging back up - by have a guest writer post. It has been a long time since my last one of these simply based on the fact that nobody, no matter how many times I bring the idea up, seems to want to bite. People may very well enjoy my style of writing but when it comes to quality then I am of the belief that we all have it. Granted, if I wasn't a good writer I wouldn't be writing this blog but at the same time, everyone would have a blog if it came down to being good at it. It takes a passion for writing which I feel is lost by people when they are asked to write essays from a young age that they just don't care about. Of course there are people who just don't enjoy reading and writing but as someone who writes a lot, I would love to get to read more stuff by my peers. Today's post comes in the form of a passionately written letter which I'm sure you will all enjoy...

Missing You Like a Hole in My Pocket

For some reason I like the fact that Valentine's Day this year falls on one of the days that I post on. The amount of irony that drips from that opening sentence equals the amount of chocolate sauce that is going to be consumed tonight - and you all know what I mean. The reason why it is ironic is that I've never 'celebrated' Valentine's Day and today is no different. Yes I've had girlfriends in and around it but I've never been 'taken' on this day - in fact it always passes like every other day. It's at this time of year that you realise being single isn't all that great however falling in line with my previous post, I've learned to get used to it. The trouble is that now I'm worried that I've lost the knack - that is if I ever had it in the first place. Ever since I wrote last Wednesday's post I've spent a lot of time thinking about what it all meant. Have I become too used to my own company and too set in my ways? I might as well lay it all out and then you can be the judge.

Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company

We all know that person that always wants to go out. They will text you every day if you are off school or university to see if you are busy and they'll always be the ones that want to go out at the weekend (sly reference to the my previous post right there). However if you are anything like me - yes it's possible! - then you'll sometimes just say no. And it's not because you have other plans or you have an important piece of work to be getting on with - you just want to stay in. I must admit that I do this more often than not (despite the fact that last night was the first night in I've had in ages) but I think it's because I enjoy my own company. There have been many nights when I've had the chance to go out with a group of people and I've decided to stay in. No I'm not antisocial, but I think that years of personal study and times spent writing (this blog for example) have helped me to realise that the best company you can keep is often someone closer to home than you think.