My Cheese Theory

So I am in my kitchen today making myself a lovely cheese and chilli toasty when something occurs to me. Now this first thing has nothing to do with the 'theory' at all but it’s quite funny. I am cutting this cheese (nice big slab of white cheddar) and somehow I find myself almost cutting my ear off. I think I got a little ahead of myself and wanted to eat one of these perfect slices that I had been cutting so I pick one up with the knife in my hand, put the cheese in my mouth only to feel the cold edge of the blade on the outside edge of my ear. Now this was a scary moment for me as you can imagine. Never before had I thought that cutting or eating cheese could be such a dangerous pastime. The bad thing is that if any kind of health and safety boffins catch wind of this then there is a huge chance that teenagers may never be allowed to cut cheese in school so I suggest for those of you that are reading this who do some kind of cooking in school and enjoy the dairy delight that is cheese, then you laugh it off for the next few minutes and then forget it ever happened. I would also like to use this as a warning to fellow cheese slicers out there - don't try and multitask because it will more often than not go wrong; I guess I just got lucky. If my luck ever does run out and I do cut my ear off whilst cutting cheese or a similar food item then you'll know that my lack of 2 ears is not down to a romantic gesture Van Gogh style. It’s more likely that I cut a really juicy slice of red leicester that I couldn't wait to munch.

So now onto the main reason why I am talking about cheese and if I'm honest I have no idea where this is going to end up as I'm writing so just bare with me. Right, I'm in the kitchen cutting this cheese, cheating death all the while, when something occurs to me about the psychology of cheese. Now I am a lover of the stuff. I will eat almost any type from the basic cheddar to a nice mouldy gorgonzola. But it occurred to me that not everyone is the same. Now you think it's all just cheese, so what is there not to like? Some people can't stand the smell of some cheeses never mind the taste of them. These are the people that this 'theory' of mine is all about. Everyone likes cheddar - I think that is a fair enough comment (and if you don't then what is wrong with you?). But then that's where it stops. They never want to try other cheeses for some reason. The idea of only liking one small section of such a varied selection is the basis to what I am saying. I am going to stop talking in cheese talk now because I think I am going to lose my mind. I seemed like a good thing to use but I am going to pull away from it and talk proper english.

So this idea of liking a fraction of something so diverse is something that I think many people suffer quite badly from. I think that to have opened your mind up to something and then to have closed it to whatever else it offers is basically the equivalent of closing doors. An example (not to do with cheese you'll be glad to hear) might help me to make more sense. I would say that things like music and books are a good enough way of thinking about it. If you fully appreciate what good music is then you will be open minded about listening to almost any kind of music, even if just to see what it’s like, before dismissing it. If you like to read then surely you should be willing to read anything that is put in front of you, from Shakespeare to The Sun. Now we all, myself included, suffer from listening to the opinions of others far too much and we forget that we are more than capable of developing our own views on things. I don't think I would go as far to say that this 'theory' is the definition of being a philistine but at the same time that’s the idea that I’m trying to get over.

This post was never going to turn out to be something of pure genius or of deep insight but I think that I have almost managed to get my point over in the best way possible. For those of you who are sitting there confused out of your minds (thinking "what a freak this guy is") then I can understand that. There's something here that defines the person that I am though. Almost every day of my life I will think of something that makes me think "wow, that’s interesting". Whatever brought me to think this muddle of insanity up when I was in the kitchen today is beyond me at the moment but I feel that any kind of inspiration should be written down so that it can be looked at and revisited in the future.

I'm going to summarise what has been a bizarre post. The 'Cheese Theory' that I found somewhere in my head today is this: If you are willing to accept and sample one type of cheese, then why should you stop there. Apply that to anything you like or enjoy and then try to think what you have been missing out on as a result. It might only work if your head is as messed up as mine but I'm interested to hear what your 'cheese' is (that being the thing you like but have not fully explored).

If you have read this far then hats off to you because I myself might have stopped after the first paragraph. Thanks again for reading this and I hope that you understand what I'm talking about and don't just think I’m a cheese loving freak. Well I am but don't tell anyone!

Cheers.

My Noughties

Having written the first post in this blog I thought to myself 'I think I'll write a little in here every week'.  The whole idea of starting a blog was to have somewhere that I could let off a little bit of steam whilst talking about what I hoped would be interesting things. What that sounds like to me then is something that I would invariably enjoy doing and thus I would churn out a post every couple of days. However my reason for not doing this is now quite obvious to me - I am under-motivated to do anything, even the things that I enjoy doing. The good thing is that I have decided to do this now because it means that I am starting to find some sort of motivation from somewhere which can only be a good thing with prelims coming just around the corner. 

I have decided to dedicate this post to an essay that I wrote about my memories of the 'noughties'. It was an essay that I can't say I was looking forward to writing but when I got down to it, was actually quite - dare I say it - fun. So here are a few extracts from the essay which I hope will help you to remember some things from the last decade whilst also maybe making you laugh along the way as well:

To look back over the last 10 years of my life comprehensively would be stupidity on my part because I have the memory of a goldfish. Not in that I walk into glass and forget who I am constantly but more that my ability to recall events and important moments in my life is rubbish. I feel that an in-depth approach to remembering the ‘noughties’ would be to not do justice to what has been an amazing decade for me. Honestly the decade of terrorism, obesity, the credit crunch and the dominating presence of Big Brother on our television screens, was actually a good one. As well as these negative aspects that society has had to endure (yes I feel that watching a group of celebrities eat, sleep and flirt is something one must endure not enjoy) there were changes made to the world that have provided much needed positivity. My HD television for example is a marvel of modern engineering; never have I been so excited about watching a David Attenborough nature documentary since the wonder that is 1080p was brought into my house. Somewhat linked to this (not so much by the cable with which the two are currently connected but more the topic of technology), the ‘console wars’ between Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo has produced my PS3. The much maligned next generation console has been torn to shreds by critics and Xbox users alike but is still one of the loves of my youthful life. As sad as that may sound it is true and has gotten to stage where I don’t talk about Xbox when I am round out in case I hurt its feelings. This attitude towards technology is one that I share with the majority of the nation, the only ones not sharing my feelings being the older generations and technophobes. My life and the lives of people around me have changed for the better over the last 10 years because of the simplicity of our lives thanks to technology. Even as I write this I am looking at a pretty, brightly coloured screen which responds as I press little buttons which correspond to the letters of the alphabet. This kind of thing was just a concept at the start of the century, one which has developed beyond recognition from the boxy idea that some people disregarded as something only a handful of the population would desire. Another advance in this area would have to be the mobile phone. If you had told someone back in 1999 that we would one day be touching the screens of our phones and using them as cameras then they might have thought you to be crazy and may have even offered you a cloth to clean your tiny, limited screen with. That was even if you had a phone as well. I do not know anyone who does not have a mobile phone now and when asked by someone what we would do without these handheld masterpieces I think my brain might freeze and I would immediately grab for my mobile in order to phone a friend for their opinion. This concept of being able to communicate on the go is one that I never really thought to be that important as a minor but now is one that I fully believe to be a necessity of life. At the risk of offending someone worse off than myself, I see the mobile phone as less of an aid to my life and more something that I am obligated by society to have. I fully understand that not everyone can afford to have such luxuries but if offered the choice between my mobile phone and food for a week I think it is fair to say that my mobile phone would win though: at least I would be able to phone and text people about being hungry rather than get myself fat and not be able to tell anyone about it.

The ‘noughties’ have provided my life with a sense of meaning, a place where I can spend time with my friends and meet new people over a game of cards. A home from home and a haven of infinite opportunity and wisdom. I am of course talking about the social networking phenomenon that is Facebook. I have to say that only in the last year of the ‘noughties’ was I dragged into this online social play area. My life before Facebook was orientated by the less exciting Bebo network where my childhood took a turn: I’m not sure if for the better but there was a seismic turn somewhere that I was aware of. Once I had dipped my toe into the ocean that is Facebook, the Bebo period in my life was behind me, dumped and replaced by this better, more exciting place for me to express myself from behind the computer screen: something of a paradox you might say but I’m sure I know a keyboard shortcut or two to counter any arguments somebody might have against what I’m writing. To say that I jumped in would be an understatement. I believe the term that I would use instead would be ‘dive-bombed’. I was gripped from the very first time somebody gave me a sheep for my virtual farm and when they then went on to hit me with some kind of ‘virtual pillow’. There was something rousing about this new found community for me; something that I cannot even begin to describe. Not a day goes past without me checking what people are saying on Facebook or if I have been tagged in some embarrassing image of myself from a party. Everything that happens in the real world is either reported on or, further still, started on Facebook. It’s almost like a big journal that everyone writes in only I’m sure that there are no journal’s anywhere that have questions asking that if I was on a deserted island would I look for food or eat my best friend. Nothing comes close to this mindless splurge of obscene humour that flows from the Facebook home page. Now I’m sure my comment about Big Brother from earlier now sounds stupid because I made it seem that I was above such nonsense but I personally don’t believe anyone is – well not the younger generation anyway. What’s more if someone is willing to argue that my seemingly contradictory views are utterly hogwash, then I will start a rumour about them on Facebook and somebody somewhere will ‘like’ it.

It’s all very easy to say things like ‘the noughties are the most defining period in my life’ and that kind of thing but I am true believer in this stuff. Had I taken the wrong turning somewhere, who knows where I would have ended up? My life up until this point has been as good as it has been because of meticulous planning, a fair share of luck and an upbringing by my parents that I will forever be in debt to them for. Now I stand at the threshold of another exciting decade in my life. So I say thank you to the ‘noughties’ and say hello to the ‘teenies’ (or whatever colourful name that they will be given) and welcome them with open arms. I just hope that they will be able to match the last decade and that will be no mean feat with such a hard act to follow.

So that is just a little bit of my ramblings about the decade past. It's actually super lazy on my part to just copy a bit of another essay in here but I felt that I would quite like to share it. Maybe over the next week or two I will find something to write about but up to this point I have nothing. It would be nice to talk about something topical that people will enjoy reading about but I guess I will only keep writing and publishing it if people are going to read it.

Just a child? Not for long.

I recently realised the reality of my years and also, judging from the first words of this blog, my new found love for alliteration too. The latter is a by-product of recently rekindled love for the english language but lets focus on the former for now. I mean nobody wants to read about that kind of thing.

So as the 'noughties' slip behind along with the first full decade of my life, I began to realise that my childhood has gone with them. In about two months time I will be 18 and in about five months time I will be finshing my childhood education as well. Most will be happy about this, some have already found a way out of the system but me, well I value what I have just now and will be sorry to see it go. Some will call me crazy and others may sympathise with me but there's a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me that this is truly the end of my youth. It could be argued that being young nowadays is to be say 25 but there is a fundamental difference for me. Childhood is all about being wrapped up in cotton wool and being spoon fed everything. It is about laying the foundations for adulthood and so can dictate so very much about who you will be and what path your life will take in the future. It can be said that every period of your life has a similar impact on such things but a prosperous childhood more often than not leads to a prosperous life. My impeding increase in years has made me realise that I will soon be out in the 'big bad world' as it is so often referred to. Whatever childhood has taught me does not seem to have prepared me for such tundra's of danger or such perilous journeys yet I have no fear about this change. Its going to happen whether any of my peers or I like it and to embrace it seems like the way forward. I can't wait for adult life to begin but somewhere deep inside me there will always be that little kid looking on saying: "I made all of this, and by Jove didn't I make a crackin' job of it".

So blogging seems to be a way of letting some of the muck that rattles around in my head loose and so I will be adding to this occasionally. Bored? Well i'm sure someone is but if my rambling didn't bore someone then for some reason I would be disappointed. A new release for me and maybe, just maybe, someone might enjoy it at some point. "Over and over and over and out!"