Mind Numbing

I'm sitting in front on my laptop trying to work out what I could write about tonight and nothing is coming to me - and I mean nothing. Some people might put this down as writer's block but I put it down to being idle. Over the last 2 and a half months I've not really done anything that stimulates my brain. Even my holiday is a distant memory that feels like it could have been a year ago instead of a month. I ask myself what I've been doing with my time since I finished university and I sadly come up with very little. I've only finished 1 book this summer and I've hardly got started on another one since then. I've not even found the energy to watch the films and TV shows that I planned to watch which is crazy since I've had so much time before my trip and after to do such things that I can't understand why I haven't. It's now brought me to the conclusion that I've numbed my brain and that I'm going to have to train it back up to be on top form when the new university year comes around. It's not going to be easy and finding the motivation is going to be the toughest part of it but it's something that I've just got to do.

It's making me miserable actually. I look over at my bedside and I see a fresh book just waiting to be consumed and enjoyed but it just doesn't get me as excited as it used to. I see the piles of DVDs that are waiting to be watched and the pages of recorded stuff on the Sky+ box but I just can't bring myself to watch any of it. As I'm writing this post I have one of my great loves on my lap (no not Ellie Goulding!): my PSP. I spend so much of my time playing it because it is my 'go to' thing when nothing else will quench my boredom. It's probably one of the only things that is keeping me sane through the summer months along with writing this blog, playing football and socialising. I'm starting to wonder what the point of long holidays actually is.

I'm now looking for a solution rather than a preventative measure because when it comes to boredom, I've hit rock bottom. I've come up with a few decent ideas with what I could do with my time: I've been searching for a job and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future; I've contemplated putting in the early work for writing a book; and I've even thought about starting on second year work for university. All of these things require something that is fairly vital in all areas of life: motivation - something that I'm in short supply of at the moment. I think that I would benefit massively from getting a head-start on university work but it's almost inevitable that I'll find something inane to do before I start and never get around to it. I've looked at some of the things that I'll be doing next year and it wouldn't take much more than a week to get a better idea of what is in store. How I'll find the motivation to do anything about it I'm not sure but how my brain is going to cope with some very challenging things at the start of the next academic year is something I'm even more unsure about.

Thanks for reading and if anyone has the cure to my plight then be sure to let me know!

Martin