A Letter to No One

After what can only be described as a challenging read on Monday, I feel it is time to lift the quality of this weeks blogging back up - by have a guest writer post. It has been a long time since my last one of these simply based on the fact that nobody, no matter how many times I bring the idea up, seems to want to bite. People may very well enjoy my style of writing but when it comes to quality then I am of the belief that we all have it. Granted, if I wasn't a good writer I wouldn't be writing this blog but at the same time, everyone would have a blog if it came down to being good at it. It takes a passion for writing which I feel is lost by people when they are asked to write essays from a young age that they just don't care about. Of course there are people who just don't enjoy reading and writing but as someone who writes a lot, I would love to get to read more stuff by my peers. Today's post comes in the form of a passionately written letter which I'm sure you will all enjoy...

To my darling,

It is safe to say that your absence from my life has been noticeable and this has been accompanied by a great deal of sorrow. I know that you will probably never read this but I know that if you ever do come across this document you will know that every line is an etching straight from my heart, a heart that you have left feeling heavy and hollow. This is not me trying to lay the blame at your door; on the contrary we both know that I was at fault for the breakdown in our relationship. I was a fool, an idiot who didn’t realise what he had until the best thing in his life had gone; that thing being you. As I have already stated the misery that is being apart from you has affected me rather severely, my desire to see you and hold you can’t be contained but as the realisation that I may never have the chance to again sinks in, this simply compiles the depression that has marred the last couple of months.

My decision making skills, as you know, are poor and I don’t doubt that even this letter will come back to haunt me, haunt being the operative word as it is exactly what you’re doing to me. Everywhere I go I hope that I will see you or hear from you but communication between us has long since collapsed. Not only do I hope to see you but I have hoped for the last few months that we could meet and find a way to start a fresh as I know that it is unlikely that things could go back to the way they were, no matter how much I wish they would. I can’t seem to escape the thought of you literally everything reminds me of you and the things we did together. Every day I drive past the very place where we first met... I remember that occasion with fond memories. Our first meeting, not the fairy tale start with us getting off on the wrong foot, however, there is a fine line between contempt and passion and when we kissed it would appear that we landed on the right side.

The next few months consisted of hours of talking and texting all day until the early hours of the morning. I longed to see you again much like I do now. Our first ‘date’ a momentous occasion, ironically saying goodbye being the best part, our overall mood and an amazing day summed up with a passionate yet emotional kiss farewell one that I will not soon forget. After another series of meetings it is safe to say that I was hooked and you were made aware of this one Friday night where against all my being I told you exactly what I felt. But this is not a letter of fond reminiscing rather a letter scorning my mistakes and lamenting the apparent loss of you.

The thought of you follows me about a constant horrific reminder of what I gave up. I have thought of trying to, against everything that I feel for you, cut off all contact and disappear out of your life forever, of getting away and being at peace but I know that you will still be with me. I remember sitting in a bad film and you declaring yourself my ‘sunshine’ and it is this that means even when I am much older I will never forget you. I can’t hide from the sun and the similarities you share being uncanny. You being the light in my darkest hours, and the warmth you brought to me and my, until meeting you, rather cold heart will stay with me for years to come. You are a ray of light in an otherwise bleak world a source of everlasting radiance and beauty. Although it is cliché I can honestly say that as long as I live I will never forget you and you will always have a special place in my life and heart.

This is not, however, an admission of defeat. Again I remember sitting with you as you smiled away at me and asking ‘If you ran now, would you want me to chase you?’ your swift response ‘I’d be disappointed if you didn’t’. Therefore bearing this in mind I will not give up without a fight in the hope that something from our once brilliant relationship can be salvaged. This letter’s purpose is simply to vent my emotions so that I may be less bound by them (although I doubt this very much).

As much as I hate to admit it you are in my head and indeed under my skin but without you I now lack guidance and am forced to simply do away. This whole letter may be described as sappy, tacky or even pathetic but I couldn’t care less, I am speaking the truth. Again I would like to reiterate that I am sorry even though I am sure you will never read this. 

Now you can see what can be done with words. It takes very little skill to be able to write words done but to be able to write the correct ones down in the right order takes both passion and practice. If you ever find yourself with a loose 15 minutes then just open up a Word document or grab a piece of paper and pen and see where you can take yourself.

Thanks to my guest writer for providing such a great piece and thank you all for reading,

Martin