Missing You Like a Hole in My Pocket

For some reason I like the fact that Valentine's Day this year falls on one of the days that I post on. The amount of irony that drips from that opening sentence equals the amount of chocolate sauce that is going to be consumed tonight - and you all know what I mean. The reason why it is ironic is that I've never 'celebrated' Valentine's Day and today is no different. Yes I've had girlfriends in and around it but I've never been 'taken' on this day - in fact it always passes like every other day. It's at this time of year that you realise being single isn't all that great however falling in line with my previous post, I've learned to get used to it. The trouble is that now I'm worried that I've lost the knack - that is if I ever had it in the first place. Ever since I wrote last Wednesday's post I've spent a lot of time thinking about what it all meant. Have I become too used to my own company and too set in my ways? I might as well lay it all out and then you can be the judge.

I hate Valentine's day. I can't form the best argument because, as I have already said, I've never really taken part in it and therefore anything I say can be easily rebutted with a simple: 'how should you know?'. Well the reason why I know that Valentine's Day is rubbish is that I've got eyes, ears and the ability to analyse things until the stuffed love-hearts come home. In fact this day every year never fails to make me laugh. I mean why should it take a particular date to make someone show that they love someone else? It has almost become the day when guy in a relationship says: 'no honestly I do love you, and here's a box of chocolates to prove it'. In fact if I was to try and stress this point I would go as far to say that they didn't love them as much yesterday and tomorrow things will all go back to normal until more romantic gestures are formulated in preparation for this time next year - the only day of the year when society tell you that you have to reassure your partner of your undying love for them. Give me a break.

However there is a vital flaw in this argument: the person delivering it has no legitimacy with regard to the topic. In fact he might be one of the least qualified people in world to deliver this argument. The trouble is that he chooses not to give himself the legitimacy that he so rightly deserves. He always seems to manage to make arrangements with himself and never with anyone else. His closest companions over the last few years have stood by him but he spends more time standing by himself. He pines for something more, he pines for something different but he goes red in the face and runs quickly back to his desk and notes. He doesn't know who has liked him and nobody knows that he has like them. He will grow up one day but doesn't know when.

The problem with this whole thing is that I now deserve negative feedback from this post. I mean who writes about the fact that they are single and then expects sympathy in return? I would therefore like to make is very clear that the purpose of this post was not to cry out for help or to send an SOS from confines of my flat; no the purpose of this post was to say how much I don't like the concept of Valentine's Day but how much I would like to take part. How much money has already been or will be spent tonight I don't know, but I do know that there will be a lot of guys with holes in their pockets by tomorrow. The thing that I want doesn't have a price tag but I just don't know how much it's going to cost me to get.

If you are going to tell someone you love them tonight then at least mean it and don't just litter them with pointless gifts - and then tell them again tomorrow because that way they might just believe you.

Thanks for reading,

Martin