You are defined by the things you do, not by the things you don't do. Regret is a funny word that annoys me when I hear people say it. It's a feeling that we all get (and hate) but when people say that they regret not doing something, it gets on my nerves. I don't regret anything and you'll never hear me say that I do simply based on the fact that what is done is done. It takes a lot for me to write a truism like that as well (for example: if it rains, it rains) because they really annoy me but this one actually means something. History is the stuff that is behind is and we can't shape or change. What we can do however is move on and learn from mistakes instead of regretting them. That is all well and good but the hardest thing about that is the fact that you have to learn to move on and for some people that is almost impossible.
In an ideal world we would all be able to avoid doing things that we wish we hadn't. Not a day goes past when we do something that we really think we should (and in most cases) could have avoided. If I was bestowed with one super-power (aside from the ability to fly because how super-cool-awesome would that be!?) then it would have to be the power of foresight. In many respects I'm one of the lucky few that seem to have this in some forms - yes, I have super-powers just in case you hadn't noticed. I know far too many people that do things without thinking about the consequences first and it bugs me. The worst part about it is that those people are the ones that go around harping on about their regrets. For better or worse, I am somebody who uses their brains constantly. Maybe I use it too much and that's the reason why I'm quite reserved and sometimes (in a jocular manner of course) labelled as not being all that fun, but it get things done well and with very few mistakes - I told you already, I regret nothing.
Then there are those things that you just don't have any control over - like girls. If I had acted on the countless times that I have wanted to smack my head off a wall over a missed opportunity with a girl then I'm not sure I would be able to use my brain to such a capacity as previously mentioned. Those might be the only times that I've ever come close to 'regret' but it invariably goes away after a few days. There has been one time when I (stupidly) got caught up for a year on someone but I just don't see any point in regretting it. I could say that it was a wasted year or that I should have done some things differently but I didn't - why waste my time thinking about it? Another example is exams. Yes, there is a lot of control on your part when you sit an exam because you've prepared for it but what happens if the marker is angry the day they sit down with your paper? Maybe your handwriting isn't all that good or their cat died the day before - you have no control over it. I got the results for my first law exams back recently and they went OK. Not as well as I hoped, but OK. They may very well not be the kind of marks that I'm used to getting but I don't have any regrets about them either. Learn from your mistakes instead of pondering them.
As the old saying goes: 'hindsight is a beautiful thing' - it's like a butterfly on a warm summers day with the smell of cut grass in the air and the sound of birds playing in the trees. But then it starts raining or your hay-fever decides to attack and the day is ruined - hindsight is nice but is fairly rubbish at the same time. 'What would have happened if...' is something that I hear a lot and hate. If you just look back on one important event, wishing you did something differently then you haven't learned a thing - you just hate yourself for doing something wrong i.e. you feel and for some reason have decided to voice your regret.
Look, we all feel crap about stuff that we've done from time to time. The best feeling in the world for me is when you realise that it's actually quite easy to get over. Don't worry about what you did yesterday; look forward to what you are going to do tomorrow. People are clumsy in many ways but it is how we move on from those 'whoops' moments that make us who we are.
Thanks for reading - I certainly hope you don't regret it and if you do, don't tell me.
Martin
I have to say this is a very interesting post. I think regret is something that a lot of people can end up having, I have to applaud you for not having any regrets. I do not know if I would say I have any regrets at this moment, but I would say that there is something I regretted and came to terms with later. I am a thinker as well, and I see the consequences way before the "fun" of throwing morals out the window and doing something crazy just because you can(well if you do not get caught anyway). I have to agree there are some regrets people have that well they should not complain about because they were fully aware of the repercussions that would follow, regardless if at that moment they decided to ignore them. However there can be some things people regret that may not be fully in their control, and with those I think its not a bad thing to regret it as long as you don't dwell on the regret and make sure to learn from it as much as possible like you said. Great post, I enjoyed it :)
ReplyDelete"I don't regret anything and you'll never hear me say that I do simply based on the fact that what is done is done."
ReplyDeleteYeah, you are very obviously a teenager. You don't understand how regret works, what it truly means. When you're older and finally get it, you'll look back on this post and feel stupid.