The Old Turn it On and Off Trick

When I had posted the second of last week's posts, what I was actually doing was making myself some deadlines - and I love deadlines! Now I've set myself the task of producing a post for Mondays (the vein ones about me) and on Wednesdays (when everything else gets a look in) and I can't wait. Since I decided to do this, I have found myself coming up with even more post ideas than ever and what is more I am even more enthusiastic about writing than ever before - I didn't think this was possible. It has taken me well over a year to finally manage to get into come sort of routine for this blog. Now that I'm at the start of that routine, I feel great. The first 'Me on Monday' post is going to be on a topic that I thought about one night when I was walking back up from the train station to my flat. I was absolutely knackered from both a lack of sleep that week and the fact that I had been on the move for most of the day. It then hit me that it was time to reset, much like you would a computer. You all know that situation when something electronic isn't working and hitting the top of it just isn't working. That's always the point when your genius friend or worldly parent comes into the room and tells you to turn it off and then back on again. I wonder if that could work for me.

The last few weeks of my life have been painful. When you try and mix going out every night with copious amounts of university work, it generally causes meltdown. There have been times this year that I've wondered just how I've managed to get up in the morning and into lectures and I don't see that feeling stopping any time soon. One of the things that I'm most proud of from my short time at university is that I've not missed a single lecture or tutorial - I wonder if this is contributing to my sluggishness. Yes it is a fairly impressive feat but then again, do I really need to go to every single class? Something really deep down in my psyche tells me yes but my lack of sleep tells me no. There are days that go past when I see 9am on my watch and then the next time I look at it, it's 4pm. It's not that I'm not getting any work done, but I'm worried that the quality of that work suffers the more that I put myself through.

Going out every night doesn't seem to help me that much either. For a person that enjoys staying in, I do go out rather a lot. In the last few months I've become a bit of a pub quiz addict which accounts for 2 (sometimes 3) nights. Then there are all of the other nights that just seem to happen and before I know it, I've only had one quiet night in during the whole week and as a result I'm absolutely shattered. In fact I've only had two nights in my flat in the last two weeks which I would say is unprecedented for me. My problem is that I don't like to feel left out of anything but it's going to get to the stage where I'm just going to have to start saying 'no' again to people - something that I used to do on a regular basis.

So what is the answer to all of this? Well as I dragged myself up the millions of steps that seem to be involved in any walking journey in Edinburgh, I realised that it was time to turn myself 'off' so to say. Quite how I'm going to do this I'm not yet sure. I'm going away on holiday in a couple of months for a week which will involve longs walks and days spent reading so that is my best hope just now. Other ideas that I've had include skipping a fairly unimportant day of uni to spend doing nothing but, as I said above, that really isn't an option for me. I do spend a lot of time doing nothing anyway but then feel crap when I realise the amount of work that I've neglected. Maybe I'm just going to have to admit that I'm not going to feel relaxed until the summer come around and my last exam is but a fleeting memory. 

Switching myself off and on might well be the answer to all of my problems but when you don't know how, what is that point in knowing that? Now all I do is spend time thinking of ways to relax which in turn makes me more stressed and puts off work for longer - the vicious cycle that I am currently lapping.

Thanks again for reading and be sure to vote in my poll at the side there,

Martin